When I was a kid, one of the “chores” I always got tasked with was helping bring the groceries in from the car. I remember walking out to the car like they do in those slow motion clips of people preparing for battle (cue dramatic music). Each time I went out to the car to collect whatever needed to be brought into the house, I did everything in my power to make it in one trip because there was no way I was making a second trip out to the car. It was always an unspoken competition among my siblings and I to carry in as much as we could possibly balance and hold in our arms and race back to the kitchen with our load without dropping a single thing. Inevitably, each effort to load up all of the awkward bags from my parents’ trunk left me trying to precariously balance everything in the game of grocery Tetris. It took every ounce of strength to get everything inside that when I plopped the groceries upon the kitchen floor my arms felt like they were no longer attached to my body. I was utterly exhausted.
I recall this chore from my childhood because I find ever increasingly that my life has become a sort of balancing act. I have found upon reflection, that since starting high school my life has turned into perpetual to-do lists and my days have been filled with appointment after appointment and the next thing I know is that I have gone through my day and not actually lived it. Or I have filled my life with all the activities that I possibly can fit into a given period of time because I don’t want to say “no” to someone/something or for fear of missing out on what might be happening around me; or even worse, to disappoint someone in my life by not participating in something that they have asked me to. I find that more and more I am running on fumes of energy and the time that I could have to deepen my relationship with God through prayer and recreation is spent trying to overcome the exhaustion from my overly scheduled and busy “life”.
What I can tell you from going around the block or two is that this is no way to live. Going from event to event, checking off every item on my to-do list, trying to balance all that I “need” to do into a set time period; living in a state of perpetual exhaustion doesn’t get me brownie points nor does it get me into the pearly gates of heaven. The reality is that God did not put us here on the earth to fulfill a to-do list of items that we think are necessary to our life. He did not resolve to have us live in a perpetual state of exhaustion and burnout. I think one thing that is important to note about God is that when He was working on creating this whole world/universe deal in Genesis it says in scripture that on the seventh day God rested. God understands and knows the importance of balance.
However, having balance in our life is something that doesn’t necessarily come easy or natural. We live in a society that struggles to cope with silence and stillness. It is not enough to just be, we must constantly be going, even in our time of rest. But God clearly tells us “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). Finding balance during our day to day is so important. In order to break the cycle of over-scheduling and perpetual hecticness, we have to start making decisions with the end in mind. We have to make decisions on the right foundation, and that foundation is God.
Our ultimate goal in life is heaven and everything we do here on the earth should work to point us towards and lead us closer to that goal. One of the first questions we have to ask ourselves is: Are our decisions about the activities we commit ourselves to leading us towards that goal? We have to take stock of what consumes our lives. Are the activities that take up time in our day truly essential to our well-being or simply a superfluous activity that doesn’t really get us closer to heaven?
A person becomes prudent by learning to distinguish what is essential from what is non-essential, to set the right goals and to choose the best means of attaining them. CCC 1806, 1835)
Am I involved in an activity because I want/need to be, or is it simply fulfilling an obligation to someone or some ideal that I have placed on myself? Am I allowing obligations to be placed upon me by others because I feel I owe them something or that they will think less of me if I do not do what they are asking? When I was in college I joined the intramural women’s basketball team. After a few weeks of being on the team, I realized I had no time in my day to work on homework or just relax and enjoy some “me” time. In looking at my day to day I had to come to terms with the fact that although I loved being a part of the basketball team, it simply was too much of a commitment and was draining me. It wasn’t essential to my life and wasn’t helping me reach my ultimate goal. After considering everything that I was involved in, I had to make the tough decision to step back from basketball. I felt like I was letting the team down, but realized that I was letting the team down more from trying to continue and not be fully present at games amidst my exhaustion. In freeing up that time from basketball, I was then able to take time to recharge. I found that by starting to put my life into balance and eliminating things that were not essential to my well-being, that I was no longer running from activity to activity missing out on my life, but I was entering into each carefully chosen activity wholeheartedly and encountering Christ in those moments.
God wants us to live lives that are full, He wants to encounter us in our everyday. We have to start taking stock of what takes up our time in life. Is that activity essential to my well-being or is it just another obligation? Finding balance is not an easy task, it requires sacrifice, it may mean letting go of something that is good in and of itself but not essential to my life with where I am at. But I can promise you that the more you strive to find that balance in your life, the more you allow God to enter into your everyday, you will find fulfillment, you will be energized, and you will live a life that is fully alive.